My close friends call me Jazzy, and well since this is pretty much my open diary to the world, I guess you can call me that too (; I graduated from the University of Redlands with a double major in English and Public Policy. Now, don't be fooled, I didn't always love writing, but like my life in 2017, that quickly changed. The more I dove into my studies, the more I found myself enjoying the writing process more than the result, and well I know that comes from my years of playing softball. 

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From the moment, I could speak, my parents knew what kind of girl they got, an athlete. Any guesses on my first word? If you guessed "ball", well feel free to toot your own horn. Growing up, I played three sports year round, soccer, basketball, and softball. Competition, hard work, and being a team player became ingrained in my soul. But, there was one sport that took my heart, no questions asked.

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I began to focus solely on softball around the age of 12, and by that point, it had already become my first love. Fast forward to high school, and I played varsity at Presentation High School, an all-girls school. (hands down best experience). From there I got recruited to play at the U of R. It was a dream come true. I remember being 8 and having the Santa Clara softball team coaching us on different drills and thinking, "Someday that will be me". 

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Stepping onto the field for the first time on campus, I was ready. I was ecstatic to combine competitive softball with school. I had so much fun in high school embracing the scholar athlete lifestyle, and well college ball is the epitome of it all.  Unfortunately, two months into my first semester I had an injury that began the string of surgeries that followed. Each year of college I underwent a surgery. My first three encompassed the goal of getting back on the field. The fourth surgery was solely to improve my quality of life. Simple tasks like writing, bathing, typing, putting on makeup, pouring a glass of water, opening a door and exercise were impossible to do on my own. (read surgeries blog category for details)

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My most recent surgeries have been in June of 2020 and April of 2023. How am I doing now? Well, you know it wouldn't be me without another surgery!! I am on my way to round 6 (my second SRS surgery). It is still so crazy to me to think back on how much my life has changed since 2017. I have been diagnosed with ulnar nerve entrapment, thoracic outlet syndrome (TOS) , fibromyalgia, celiac disease, hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), and last but not all least, slipping rib syndrome (SRS). Yep, slipping ribs. As I searched and tirelessly advocated for myself time and time again I am just now finally receiving the care I should have received in the beginning. Everyone, no matter how "severe" or "minor" their pain is deserves proper pain management and treatment. Throwing pills is not the answer. The whole picture (medical history, everything)  MUST be considered, and sadly many times it's not. 

 

Telling young adults that their pain is "too complex" or linked to their mental health is BS. For three years I felt as though I screamed from the rooftops that something deeper was going on, something completely out of my control. YOUR BODY IS MADE IN A UNIQUE WAY. Rib deformation and connective tissue are my weak points, not me as a person. 

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When I first got hurt I felt completely isolated. Every other person around me was enjoying their college years worrying about their classes and careers, while I was focused on surviving the pain each day. I went online to try to find someone, anyone like me. My first Google searches were for chronic pain blogs. The ones that popped up, I couldn't relate to their authors. They were either a lot older than I was or were dealing with autoimmune diseases. Hence, the creation of theChronical. I used to write in a diary every day growing up. Something about putting your thoughts down even if they are too hard to say aloud, it allows more time for inner growth before the flowers bloom. Feeling that sense of catharsis every once in a while was my reason to keep pushing, knowing what I have gone through to know what I can get through. 

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So, after all that, all I want to say is Welcome! If you are struggling with chronic pain I hope my story will help you feel not so alone and validated in your own emotions and experiences. . Enjoy reading my virtual chronic journal