The only other surgery I had gotten was a tooth surgery in 8th grade. I don't remember being nervous about it at all. This was different. Who cares about losing a tooth, I was scared that I would lose my arm. Obviously not amputation or something crazy like that, but more so its strength and abilities. I had done everything I possibly could to try and get better without surgery, now all that was left "to do" was to trust my surgeon.
My mom flew in on Thursday night for my surgery. I was so happy to have her support, especially after the conversation I had with coach that day. We stayed up and talked until I was finally able to sleep past the nerves.
Friday morning, surgery day. No water, no food, and no meds, but yes to hella comfy clothes. We arrived at the hospital and began the check-in process, the most dreaded part of the day. I am a classic overthinker when I am forced to sit and wait. And, that's exactly what they have you do before surgery, wait. While laying in the hospital bed I called family members for blessings, good lucks, and a distraction. Then, the dehydration and hunger kicked in. Ugh, the headaches and cramps, horrible. Then, right as I was about to take a little siesta, BOOM! A clipboard hits the end of the bed and an energetic man stands before me. "Hi, I'm dr. Riedel. I'll be performing the procedure on you." Now, remember, this is the first time I'm meeting him, the day of surgery. "So, I read over all your files and looked at all Xrays and MRIs. I've decided I'm going to do another surgery on you, not the one suggested by Dr. Wongworawot." He went on to explain that the initial surgery plan was not going to be a long-term fix, more like a temporary one. Essentially, the original plan was to fix the dissociated bones by mending and supporting the tendon that stretches out across the two. This would have been done by putting an incision across the two bones and placing pins in the wrist bone to stabilize. Now, Dr. Riedel was saying that the incision actually needs to be closer to the ulnar side of the wrist bone in order to mend my severally torn TFCC. The plan was to grab the tendon and some synthetic material to elongate it. Dr. Riedel explained it like this,
"Think of a rubber band that you hook onto a pin and stretch it out onto another pin to hold it tight and in place. Then, the tendon and bones will fuse naturally and start the healing process that they were hoping for when they put you in a cast."
Well, Okay... let's do it.
The anesthesiologist came by next, asked about my medications, and then gave me the good stuff. The only way I can describe the feeling of starting to feel the anesthesia? Levitation of the mind and body. Both inevitably escape you. Conversations become harder to follow and much funnier, while your body begins to drift to sleep. The last thing I remember was yelling "Ciao!" to my mom and my aunt as they wheeled me into a long hallway towards the operation room....
The days right after the surgery were by far the easiest to get through. The copious amounts of medication made me sleepy, which helped pass the time. However, the more the meds wore off and I began to come back to life, so did the unbearable pain. Although, now something was different. I looked down at my arm and saw it wrapped up in a new cast. It felt cushioned, stable and safe. I did it.. now the anticipation of being rid of the damn cast in weeks to come.
~4 weeks Later~
The day had finally come. I was going to finally be able to see my wrist since surgery. As I looked down smiling at my hand, Dr. Riedel said, " Okay, we need to take those pins out now". Wait. Take them out?! This was a vital detail that I must have missed during the explanation of the surgery. He continues"well, yea those things are probably super crusty... gross". I looked at him and said, "Okay, when do I need to schedule to go under and have them taken out?" He tried so hard not to laugh, "Uhh, kiddo we are taking them out right now, no medications needed." Great :) We walked into the room where I had gotten fitted for my cast. I sat down in the chair and held on tight to my boyfriend's hand.
The nurse grabbed some heavy-duty pliers, grabbed my wrist, and went to work. The beginning sensations were numbing. I could feel the cold pliers touch the exposed metal and it vibrated across my bones. At first, she pulled gently trying to get them to loosen up and slide out easily. Nope. "Honey, I am so sorry but I need to start pulling harder because they bent." Then, the tugging started. And when I mean tugging, I mean both hands on my wrist, legs wrapped around the chair and full force. I started bawling. I could feel exactly where the pins had bent to the natural curve of healed wrist bones. Every turn, twist and pull scratched around the tender scar tissue that had begun to form. Meanwhile, my loving boyfriend had gripped my hand and turned away giggling. Yes, giggling. As soon as the torture was over we headed to the car and drove back to campus. The first words spoken through tears? "why did you laugh at me... " Cal grabbed my left hand and said "No, no I wasn't laughing at you I just couldn't deal with how hard she was tugging your wrist"
He then grabbed his phone and showed me this giggling: "she straight up looked like this..you would have been uncomfortably laughing too.." And with that, the pain subsided, and once again love healed.
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