new elbow & a new coach
I was finally able to get surgery and focus on recovering without the fear of what she thought. I was also able to get the full support of my teammates during my recovery process without the pressure of a ridiculous coach's softball "ideals". It felt like a dream come true, another chance to become an active member of a softball program I was proud of.
The team was able to participate in the search for a new coach. We each knew what we did and did not want in a coach. First and foremost, they had to be approachable. After about a month or two of searching, coach Jose was hired mid Fall, right before Nontraditionals (our fall "mini-season"), and boy was the team energized. Our love for softball would once again become solidified.
I imagine that as a new coach, it must have been hard to hear me spill about my injury and two surgeries. I wasn't sure how a new coach would take knowing that one player hadn't participated in practice or games and, that I wouldn't be able to until I was totally healed. I was scared that my roster spot would be somehow compromised. To my delightful surprise, he handled the situation flawlessly. Empathy, compassion, and support. No threats, no judgment, and no manipulation. I felt as though I had been reawakened. I was a softball player, just one who needed time to get her cleats under her. And now with coach Jose, I felt like I had all the time my arm needed.
Aside from softball, I was also able to focus more on finding my path through the academic part of college. The first thing I did? Switched from being a biology major wannabe to an inspired English, Public Policy double major. I had found my true passion despite feeling lost in my search for identity in other ways. I dove into my studies, learning new techniques to survive courses, yet again, without the use of my right hand. This was the hardest thing for me to do. As you recall, the initial switch of not being able to physically write or type anything was terrible. I lost interest in classes and gave up on the fantasy of being a biology major on her way to veterinary school. But, through the backlash and concerns over my major change, my confidence in the decision never wavered. A new commitment began, one where I would do anything it took to prove to others and myself that even though I had limitations, I could not be stopped. Even though I hated using any speech-to-text software, it became my only choice to get through classes. I spent hours learning shortcuts and techniques on various software. The two software that helped the most? Dragon Naturally Speaking and Google speak on Google Docs. However, finding time when I could "speak type" my essays was another obstacle. Between living with 3 roommates, and being on the softball team moments of silence and peace were difficult to obtain. Essays that would easily take me under 2 hours to complete if I were able to write and type, turned into 4.5-hour projects. In turn, my grades went up, and my spark was reignited. Even though I picked two majors that required lots of essays, the hard work felt rewarding. I focused on learning how to utilize literary writing skills as a way to speak up about injustice across a wide net spectrum of social issues. Without the help of my professors and, I hate to say it, losing my arm, I do believe that I would have forced myself through a major that I disliked. So, maybe things do happen for a reason?
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