It was the first time that a new semester felt completely fresh. I was starting a new chapter of my life, one as a retired athlete. And... as a bonus, I was getting a new roommate! No more bad vibes while going through a bad situation. Of course, I was super excited to have someone else move in, but because of how badly things blew up with my last one... I was also nervous. See, this is how it went down. Basically, we each had meetings with our RA about why living together was not working. In my meeting, I explained my issues related to my pain, and the state of constant disorder on her side, Hanna and Elise explained their issues and we sat in silence. Our RA told us that she understood our complaints but had one issue to speak with me about in regards to my pain. I looked at my roommates and said "tell me and I will tell them anyways so they are not leaving the room". The next words blew our minds... she told me that our ex-roomie had told her that I was an addicted drug abuser:) My jaw dropped and I started laughing crying. My RA was well aware of my health issues and knew I was not a drug abuser, nonetheless, she had to check my room due to school policy. We walked over and I showed her my medicine cabinet (the one my ex-roommate never had any right to look through to detail my meds to our RA). Then, I showed her that I did have a pen but also had a Dr's note recommending the use of cannabis products, something my judgey "friend" failed to know, but alas her motive was to get me in some sort of trouble to make it seem like she left for a valid reason. At the end of the petty schemes, I came out better than ever. The school backed me in the living situation and granted me the decision of who could move in.
Everyone, meet Nat, the friend, turned roomie bestie, who saved my mental health that second semester of my junior year. You see, we both stopped playing our sports that year. Which meant this spring semester was the first time without sports taking up hours and hours of our lives. It was going to be an adjustment period, a time to really focus on what would make each of us happy. Our room became our sanctuary. It was the place we felt we could break down all our walls and just be. If we felt like our anxiety or depression was at a low point and needed a night to just zone out and be alone together. Sometimes this looked like each of us watching our tv shows cuddled up in our individual beds, headphones on, and the dab pen getting tossed between us. Nat and I knew of each other before becoming roommates but didn't really know each other. Our only vote of confidence was Elise. She was both our friend and thought our vibes would match up. Well, You did it, Elise! And boy am I glad. We all three began to go to dinner together once or twice a week, mandatory, "our roomie dinners". Shortly after Nat moved in, she met her boyfriend. It was the balance we both needed in our lives. It gave her a person to lean on, and it forced me to get out and find new passions around campus. We still wanted to prioritize our own roomie time so we would schedule "sleepovers" with each other. I know, it seems odd to do a sleepover with a roommate, but when you sleep at your significant other's a lot, our room tended to be empty. Our planned nights of quality time together became a great mental health check-in for both of us. Nat knew I didn't love talking constantly about my pain, but she still had a knack for getting me to truly open up about how I was feeling. And boy, did I need to vent.
Before going back to school I had a cervical spine MRI done and the results were intriguing. The summary at the bottom of the report read, " Straightening of the cervical spine possibly related to muscle spams/strain. Multilevel degenerative disc disease without significant spinal canal stenosis and neural foraminal narrowing as detailed. " So, I wasn't going crazy. My neck pain was validated, something was structurally off causing the surrounding nerves to get impinged. Great news right? Well, kind of. It leads to me having to have another EMG test done. But, this time it was done near school, so I had Cal and my roomies to keep me upbeat. The test was scheduled for Feb 3, 2020, and the follow-up to review the results with Dr. Wongworawat and Dr. Riedel was scheduled for three days later. Yes, I needed support after going through the painful exam, but I really needed to feel love after hearing the words, "this is a relatively normal EMG". This crushed me. I felt like my own body was fighting against me finding answers and ultimately proper treatment for my pain. My neck constantly felt like it was crowded and pinching everything. Both my doctors believed me when I said I was still in pain but they shrugged and said "I don't know what else could be done in our clinic", this is more of a pain management case now. Pain management? It sounded like a cop-out, an easy way to push patients towards medicating rather than diagnosing. But, I knew I had to try... what if this Dr knew something I didn't?
So... what better way to cope after a shitty appointment? Sleepover and Baja Blasts! Yep, Nat and I watched all the Austin Power movies, smoked, and went on a midnight Taco Bell run. It was the best time during the worst of times.
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