time to pinpoint the issue...
MRIS never used to cause me any anxiety. I had gotten them done before on my knee and shoulder in the past. So woohoo, here we go again getting more imaging done. Little did I know that a needle would have to be inserted right in the joint gap of my wrist bones.... while I was awake. The Reasoning? They needed to inject contrast into the area in order to see all the webs of tendons and muscle. The more scientific term is called arthrography. Essentially, the dr told me that it was going to look for damage to specific areas surrounding my loose bones. My answer to cease the pain.
Time passes at a different tempo inside the MRI tube. I think it's because your senses are nullified by the loud clanking and pain stimuli. The overwhelming experience makes the world seem still, which only makes having to lie still even harder. Every muscle wants to twitch and every nerve yearns to fire. The only thing left to do is close my eyes and fade into the music playing in the headphones.
Finally, the minutes pass....
As the radiologist preps to take the needle out, he tells me to take a deep breath as he pulls it out. I feel like it is vital for me to tell you that I hate needles. Shots, blood draw, and even piercings don't bother me, but as soon as I make eye contact with the needle inside of me? Game over. I'm sure you can only guess where this is going...
Radiologist: ok turn your head
me: *whips head away from wrist asap*
Radiologist: sweetie would you mind scootching your arm closer to us?
me: *turns head to make eye contact with dr* oh yea
me: .... I don't feel.... so....
Radiologist: I got your head and arm, you passed out, we are bringing you some apple juice
me: I'm stupid, why did i look? haha
nurse (with bomb apple juice) : it happens a lot more than you think,haha
A few gulps of apple juice and I was ready for some answers. The dr came in and explained the imaging. As soon as he put them out for my dad and me to see, I saw there were two highlighted spots... yup... not just one but several. I zoned back into the conversation with tears in my eyes. "Do I really need surgery? I'm a college softball player.." I couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth, "the ligaments that hold the two bones together have been torn since the start. It will only get worse with time if you don't get this fixed right away." This wasn't real. It couldn't be real. How could a minor sprain turn out to be something much much worse? My sadness quickly turned to frustration, frustration over the wasted time being misdiagnosed. Then, it clicked... the trainer. I turned to my phone and wiped my tears. I went to the album I had created in Iphotos, the picture of my wrist right after the injury was now staring back at me. "Should it have been obvious to the trainers at my school that I needed an MRI and X-rays right away?" Then I heard the words that have stuck with me.. "Oh yeah, it should have been their policy. The trainer is not a dr, he can't diagnose."
I walked out of orthoNorCal with even more questions. Which I now realize is a common issue when the issue causing pain isn't just bone but tendons. I turned to my dad, "I wish I had just broken my wrist. I would have healed by now.."
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